Today we’d like to introduce you to Nikki Holm.
Nikki, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I’ve been working as an interfaith chaplain at the intersection of mental health for just over a decade. Amidst that time, I have accompanied dozens of people both individually and in groups as together we have explored how they may connect or reconnect to themselves, one another, and the world at large. In doing so, I have witnessed how heartbreakingly common it is for people, women especially, to struggle with feelings of unworthiness, not-enoughness, and shame. This being the case, my work in recent years has largely centered upon themes related to self-compassion, vulnerability, and standing in one’s truth and goodness.
While navigating such realities professionally, I became a mom to my first child, my daughter Lydia, in the spring of 2018. As a new mom, I became increasingly aware of my desire and intention to parent her in the best interest of her innate, worthy, unique self. In short, I wanted (and still want) to learn how to nurture her most intrinsic nature through listening, observing, and allowing her truest, most beautiful self to unfold. One day, when she was about six months old, the first version of “What Kind of Flower Are You, Little Girl?” simply came to me. I realized it was a message for Lydia and all the little girls everywhere. It was simultaneously a message for all of those adults, both known and unknown to me, who are working to tend to their own inner “little girls” in ways that are nourishing, cherishing, and celebratory. It felt like a message that needed to be shared.
I have long loved to write and have dreamed that one day I would become a published author. And yet, until that day, I had always assumed it would be a memoir or other piece of nonfiction. Never had I previously envisioned myself to be a children’s book author. Even so, here I was with a story that was calling to be told. As such, amidst life as a working, new mom, I started exploring options in what spare time I could carve out to turn this story into a reality.
In January 2021, I opened my own Spiritual Direction practice under the name Within the Wave, LCC. In the spring of 2021, with the support of my husband, I decided to leap to work with a local hybrid self-publishing company called Beaver’s Pond Press. In April of 2022, the week after Lydia turned four, “What Kind of Flower Are You, Little Girl?” was officially published and I held the very first copy in my hands. Since that time, I have been navigating what it means to get my work out into the world while continuing to parent my (by now) three tiny humans and still working as a chaplain and spiritual director.
Can you talk to us about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
As it turns out, finding a publisher is in itself quite the feat for a previously unpublished author! I started by taking a class at The Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis to gain some direction. Even with that, however, I spent almost two years submitting my manuscript and sending query letters to local publishers.
When I realized I wasn’t having any luck with traditional publishers, I decided to at least explore the process of hybrid self-publishing. After meeting with the editor of Beaver’s Pond Press, I was both so very excited and so very defeated. While they were supportive, experienced, and open to partnering together, the financial commitment to self-publish was more than I thought my family and I could make. I was ready to let the dream go for this season of life at least, but my husband convinced me that even if we didn’t make the money back for 10 years, we would eventually. As such, he encouraged me to proceed.
It was an act of trust for us both; perhaps he trusted in my work and me more than I was able to at the time. Having finalized the decision, the publishing process was mostly fun, interesting, and energizing, resulting in a final product that I love! My current struggles entail figuring out how to get that product out into the world. Without a publicist, I have been navigating all sorts of new territory such as how to contact stores, schools, and libraries, how to find events, and how to promote.
Advocating on my behalf and self-promotion are not my strong suits, so it has been an exercise in growing in confidence and authority. It turns out, standing in a gift shop for two hours trying to convince shoppers to take an interest in and buy your work can feel uncomfortable! That being the case, I am doing my best to learn how to find grace, ease, and trust amidst the awkwardness.
Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
When I started Within the Wave LLC, my primary purpose and focus was to provide individual spiritual direction. As such, that seems like the best place to start. Spiritual direction can be defined in a multitude of ways. To me, it entails a partnership between an individual (the director) who is willing and wanting to take the time to allow the wisdom and truth within them to show up, be seen and heard, and another (the director) who has practiced and trained to accompany others during such pursuits with nonjudgment, curiosity, and deep listening presence.
Through in-person or virtual, hour-long sessions, I seek to create a quiet, safe, welcoming space for directees to witness a glimpse or remembrance of their spirits. Knowing and cherishing that one’s spirit is uniquely, intimately theirs, I arrive with no attachment to what it does or doesn’t want, need, or believe. Instead, I hope that together we can follow its’ urging towards the beliefs, practices, questions, intentions, and actions that are most life-giving, nourishing, energizing, and meaningful to whomever I am working with at any given time. When doing such deep, soulful exploration, it is common to encounter grief and wounds along the way. It is always my intention to hold space for such wounds while offering a compassionate accompaniment that may in time lead to healing and restoration.
In addition to my work as a spiritual director, I am looking to more directly advertise my experience with and delight in officiating weddings. I first started officiating weddings for friends back in 2015 and since then have expanded my network and availability to officiate for wider circles. I have come to learn that I love officiating weddings! Similar to spiritual direction, what I most appreciate about presiding over a wedding is helping each couple create and experience a ceremony that is unique, significant, and beautiful to them. It is a sincere honor to be asked to participate in such an intimate way as a couple celebrates their love and partnership; as such, it is a responsibility I do not take lightly. Additionally, this past year I completed training to be able to assist couples in taking and exploring the Prepare/Enrich assessment tool as a part of their pre-marital preparations if they so choose. I am looking forward to expanding this type of accompaniment in the years to come.
All of the above is in addition to my most recent expansion into the world of children’s book authorship, something I am planning and hoping to do more of in the future! Since publishing my first book, I have had to do some hard discernment regarding changing the name of Within the Wave to something more clearly identifiable and/or related to my work as an author. The reality, however, is that the symbolism behind Within the Wave simply means too much to me to give it up.
There are a multitude of things that I could say about that, but at the core of it, the language serves as a reminder that you and I are in the waves of life together, no matter how varied the particular waves of our emotions, our experiences, or our histories may be. Amidst our waves at any given time, we are never completely separate from the vast ocean that is this being human. In that truth, we are connected, in our essence. That connection, that connection to self, others, and the universe at large, or what I might call the divine, is everything.
Alright so before we go can you talk to us a bit about how people can work with you, collaborate with you, or support you?
In terms of the book, there are a myriad of ways to support myself and other local authors. Requesting a copy of “What Kind of Flower Are You, Little Girl?” at your local library, purchasing a copy, and writing a positive review on Amazon are all supremely helpful! Additionally, if you or someone you know owns or manages a local bookstore or gift shop who might be interested in carrying the book, I’d love to connect about such possibilities!
I am also very interested in doing more book readings and signings at local elementary and preschools as well as art festivals or other appropriate venues. Finally, I have a couple more children’s book ideas whirling through my mind and am interested in exploring different publishing options for my next writing endeavor. If you happen to be a publisher or literary agent looking for new talent, I would be thrilled at the opportunity to discuss the possibility of working together. Please reach out about any of the above if you’d like to collaborate on such endeavors!
In terms of exploring whether I might be a good fit for you as a spiritual director or wedding officiant, please reach out using the contact information provided. I offer one 30-minute free virtual consultation for both prospective clients and prospective couples and would feel privileged to take the time to explore working together in either capacity!
Pricing:
- “What Kind of Flower Are You, Little Girl?” retails at $17.99
- Spiritual Direction is $75 per 60-min session, flexible based on need
- Wedding Officiation is $250-350 dependent upon time commitment and location
- Prepare/Enrich Facilitation is $500 for the initial assessment plus 8 follow-up couple’s sessions to explore the results
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.withinthewave.com/
- Instagram: @withinthewave
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/withinthewave
Image Credits
Kate Steensgard, Alex Ilko, and Ashley Rick at St. Paul Photo
