Today we’d like to introduce you to Autumn Lee Koomen
Hi Autumn, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
My mother tells a story of me at 6 years old, in front of our apartment building in Southern California, wrangling all the neighborhood children into some random game I invented to ensure that every single person, no matter their age or ability, was included and celebrated. I just wanted everyone to feel happiness. Perhaps it was then that I first started using my superpower. My magic has always been to ensure each and every human I encounter is seen, valued and heard. My superpower is seeing the potential in all people, to see them without expectation, assumption, or judgment. When we see people this way, they always thrive.
One way this expresses itself for me is through photography. Photography is a tool I use to shine light on people, to help them see themselves as they truly are, limitless! It makes so much sense, because photography is just playing with light. The light shines on you and in you and through you; I just capture it. I create a glowing space to play where you can safely feel seen, heard and valued. A place where you are celebrated, a place where you feel happy.
I am so grateful for 17 years of owning a photography business. I have been trusted with intimate access to people’s lives. At births and deaths, celebrations and intense sorrow my presence and my photography has borne witness to peoples’ best and hardest days and created space for photographs that further their healing and start new adventures. Everywhere I go my hope is to raise the vibration of love in the room. My heart breaks when people don’t know their value, when people can’t see a way to joy, when people don’t feel their light. That is my purpose and photography has been the most magical way to bring joy.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
When I am in my magic I can navigate the trickiest personalities, soothe the most unregulated person, energize a room, empower, comfort and bring joy with pure altruism. But magic always has a price. There is a balance in all things. For each gift we are given there is a corresponding energy. For a very long time I believed that this ability was a fabulous gift freely given to me at birth. Recently, though, this paradigm of myself imploded. A dear friend, who has known me my whole life, lovingly suggested that perhaps my ability to skillfully elevate others is a learned survival behavior. She suggested that perhaps I learned how to navigate convoluted grownups as an adaptation, to survive my complicated childhood. That maybe my magic was an evolved trauma response.
That was extremely hard to hear, because it was true and because it was directly, viscerally dropped on me. I spiraled into sorrowful reflective healing, really sat with it, and I have landed this: Two truths. I can feel two simultaneous truths. Humans can feel two things at the same time that may at first appear to be in contradiction but are both valid. I can feel pride for who I am in the world but also hold space for the hurt that shaped me. I can feel intense gratitude for the supercharged way I can intensely feel energy, while still feeling immense sadness that this superpower was born as a way to navigate my childhood. I can love and honor those who raised me while still feeling anger at their choices. I can manifest joy while still holding sorrow. My feelings may collide in total contradiction with each other – and I am learning to be ok with that.
I am still committed to ensuring that everyone is seen, valued, and heard because, although my gift took shape from darkness, it has ended filled with light. Light and shadow always dance together. Photography is communicating with light and shadow. Those shadows give an image its interest by their depth and texture and nuance. It is the same with the people in the photos. Our magic has a shadow too because what we bring to the world as a gift is often rooted in what has broken our heart. Every human who has walked this Earth has an intimate relationship with pain, shame and suffering. Photography is always intimate. In that time you are literally being seen and that is vulnerable. I have clicked, seen, and felt hundreds of souls during their most human experiences and I can tell you we all dance with shadow. All of us.
I love this quote by Pema Chödrön “If you’re invested in security and certainty, you are on the wrong planet.” We come to Earth to learn and to help each other home. What breaks your heart is surely a path to your life’s purpose. Dancing joyfully with our shadow takes intense practice. I am learning to embrace all the painful parts of my life and truly be thankful for all of them. All of them, even the really hard things, even the hardest things. And all of those things provide me the ability to see and support others.
And so I am learning to integrate my shadow so I can be even more magical. I am doing this by practicing holding two conflicting feelings at the same time. My deep ache and my big joy often dance together. It is messy and confusing. I know you are healing too, we all are. I am curious how your pain fuels your purpose? I am curious how you navigate your shadows? Being human is full of terrible experiences, no one goes unscathed. I wish we could all see each other’s truths and love each other anyway, that is where the joy is, that is where the healing is. This quote by Edgar Allan Poe sends the perfect message “Tell me every terrible thing you have done and let me love you anyway.”
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am choosing to share my photography of drag humans with you. I love these pictures because these humans are boldly thriving out loud, they are living art, they are shared creative magic, they feel historical, sacred, and most importantly they are a public expression of an inside feeling and that is so pure, and so real, and so true. When we see people this way, we all thrive. Ram Dass once said, “Treat everyone you meet like they are God in drag” and I think that is the truest thing.
Are there any books, apps, podcasts or blogs that help you do your best?
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron:
This book will save your soul. In it, Tibetan Buddhist Pema Chodron shows you how to thrive in a fundamentally groundless and difficult world.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://theautumnlee.com
- Instagram: @autumnleestudios
Image Credits
Ian Hanson
Wil Glavez
