Today we’d like to introduce you to Emily Colay
Hi Emily, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
In 2012, my path led me to the Ayotlmetzli Moondance – an indigenous ceremony for women of all races and nations, which originated in Mexico in the 1990s.
During the course of my first Moondance, an Abuela (grandmother) from CA asked her 13-year-old granddaughter to share details about her recent coming-of-age ceremony. Her vivid description of the elements of this tradition landed so deeply in my heart. I considered how, based on the 5 phases of a woman’s life (birth, menses, motherhood, menopause and death), we are celebrated in each… with the exception of that most important phase: when a girl receives her first menses.
As someone who has led women’s circles since I was a teenager myself, I considered how so many of the women I work with are trying to heal from the subjective and oppressive conditioning we are raised in by the over culture – how it permeates into every aspect of our lives, often leading to feelings of low self-worth, martyrdom, trauma, etc. I wondered, “What if our young girls had a more solid foundation during this pivotal coming-of-age moment, when they transition into becoming young women? How would that affect their paths later in life?”
I sat with that question for a few years, when suddenly one day in early May 2015, I woke up and received a full download of a year-long program for girls, following the cycles of the Moon and nature, focused on honoring young women for the wholeness of their being and sharing women’s wisdom and mysteries with them. Thus, 13 Moons for Girls was born.
By 2018, many were inquiring when I would start a similar program for adult women. So, in October of that year, the first 13 Moons for Women circle was born.
It’s been nearly a decade now since I brought this vision to life. Hundreds of girls and women of all ages and backgrounds have been a part of our circles and community – locally, nationally and even internationally. In the past 5 years alone, I have hosted over 400 circles. I have conceptualized and created 4 year-long Cycle programs, and 4 seasonal Intensives – and have written workbooks for each.
In addition to these programs: I host community sabbat rituals and ceremonies; offer sacred song circles each season; host both local and international retreats for women; officiate weddings, mama and baby blessings, coming-of-age ceremonies, and end-of-life honorings; provide one-on-one spiritual counsel; and offer other healing and blessing services upon request.
In the last few years, I have felt called to offer more opportunities for men to join us in this sacred work as well. Together with my partner, we have been hosting healing circles for people of all genders, and all ages. We hope to continue to build upon this work, as it feels deeply needed in the world today.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Life is never a smooth road. The struggles are the opportunities for us to stretch and grow in ways we likely wouldn’t have otherwise. This work has had many challenges along the way.
It is demanding to be of service to a community. Each member has their own needs and issues, and as a guide/leader, they often look to me for support and assistance. Sometimes people put me on a pedestal I never asked to be on, projecting upon me who they want me to be… which may or may not be who I actually am. When I fail to live up to others’ expectations, they often hold me accountable for their own unhealed “stuff.” It’s been a process to learn how to be available for people, from a genuine place of compassion and wanting to help, while at the same time having strong, healthy boundaries to protect my own energy and mental health.
It’s also been hard to balance this delicate concept of spirituality and business. When I first started this work, I was one of the few people I knew who were doing it. Now, my social media feed is filled with people offering spiritual programs, retreats, certifications, etc. There was a time when it felt wise to expand 13 Moons – to have other women leading circles, offering this meaningful work to as many people as possible. But as it grew, I noticed a significant (and necessary) shift, requiring me to focus more on the business/admin side of things, rather than the essence of the work itself.
This shift did not feel in alignment with my own inner knowing about my path in this life, and so I’ve actually pulled back over the last year. While there is (and in my opinion, should be) a reciprocal energy between myself and the people who participate in these offerings I have created, I feel called to return to the intention of the original vision I had for 13 Moons: to be of service to my communities, and make this work as accessible as possible to anyone who needs it.
I am deeply grateful for the counsel of my elders and indigenous relatives who remind me that if we are truly to change humanity and birth a new world into existence, we have to opt out of (or change altogether) those practices which cause harm to the planet and all of us living here. I don’t believe the changes we seek will come from some leader, corporation, or external agency. I believe it will come from families and communities coming together, choosing to break free of outdated values and mindsets that do not benefit the whole, and creating something new that serves the highest good for all. This is the example I hope to set in my work.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
By trade, I have been a professional vocalist since I was a teenager. I began teaching voice immediately out of high school, and began working for performance/theater arts schools in my early 20s. In my mid-20s, my mentor announced her retirement and asked me to take over her choirs, the Bel Canto Voices, as they transitioned into Project Opera at the MN Opera. I became the Vocal Music Director at Heartbeat Performing Arts Center in 2010, and have been teaching there for nearly 15 years, conducting four childrens’ choirs and offering private lessons.
This year, I have become the Executive Director of a new non-profit, Cantara. Cantara was birthed last year, when I gathered a group of 50+ Bel Canto Voices alums to honor our mentor, Janice Kimes, with a surprise concert on her 85th birthday. The event was a huge success, and the women wanted to keep singing, and so we have! I also serve as the conductor and Artistic Director of Cantara.
Alongside the music, I have been on a spiritual path since my teens, and have been leading women’s circles for over 30 years now. I spent 6 years completing a priestess-training through the Women’s Theological Institute in Madison, WI in my 20s. I have been a Moondancer for the past 12 years, where I have served on the Consejo (Counsel), served as Chief Drummer, and was given the blessing of the Temazcal (sweat lodge) in 2019.
I am incredibly proud of my careers and life path. Everything I have done was born from my own vision and determination. I did not go to University (although was accepted to CalArts in 1994 with a full-ride scholarship). I am self-taught in everything I do, and after so many years, can finally say I no longer feel “imposter syndrome,” but have mastered my trades, and can see how my work has a very positive effect in the world.
My intense passion for my work, coupled with my large capacity to manage multiple projects and hundreds of people all at once, definitely sets me apart from most. I am a very genuine person, and my life’s experiences allow me to relate to others from a place of real connection. I think this has been a key to my success as well.
Where we are in life is often partly because of others. Who/what else deserves credit for how your story turned out?
In regards to my career in music, the first credit goes to my mother, Jo Nelson. My mom is very musical (though she’d never admit it). I grew up sitting at the piano next to her, singing as she played. She encouraged all of musical pursuits, and made many sacrifices to enable me to take part in BCV and other life-changing opportunities.
Additionally, my middle-school choir teacher, Shelley Kline, will always get credit for giving me my first solo, and “discovering” me. She not only was the force behind me auditioning for the Bel Canto Voices, but even drove me to rehearsals each week, from Chaska to Minneapolis. Shelley and I have continued to work professionally together throughout the years, and have maintained a strong, loving friendship throughout.
And of course, Jan Kimes. Jan really was the catalyst – not only behind my exquisite training – but also behind my path towards becoming a choral conductor, which never would have happened had she not encouraged me. She was the most influential woman in my life as a girl/young woman, and has remained so all these many years. It is the greatest honor of my life to carry her legacy forward to the future generations.
In regards to my spiritual work, I have been entirely blessed throughout the course of my life by the presence of the most incredibly wise elders on my path – beginning with my father, Michael Gergen. My dad’s church was nature, and we went to church all the time as I grew up. His values, his politics, the caliber of friends and associates he was surrounded by – and by token, surrounded me as well), greatly influenced my life, my own values, and my passion to be of service to humanity and the planet.
I often marvel at the twists and turns of my life, and where and to whom the path has led me. Without question, there have been those from whom I have clearly learned how NOT to lead, how NOT to behave. But by far and large, I have elders and teachers from many different backgrounds, ages, identities, etc, whom I respect so deeply because they lead by true example. They walk their talk. They are honest, and have integrity. They are loving and kind. I have no doubt they were placed on my path for a reason, to demonstrate how to walk my own path, to have the most positive influence I can on the people and the world around me.
Pricing:
- Year-long Cycle programs – $507
- 13-week Intensives – $444
- Community rituals and gatherings – FREE
- Payment arrangements are always an option, and no one is ever turned away because of a lack of financial resources
Contact Info:
- Website: https://13moonsretreats.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/13moonscircles
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/13moonsforwomen/
