Today we’d like to introduce you to Jen Barnes, MSW, LICSW, E-RYT500, TCTSY-F, CPC.
Hi Jen, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
In early 2020, I was seeking a way to have additional income along side my private psychotherapy practice. I saw an ad on Facebook for learning how to create online courses and I thought would be a perfect complement to what I was already doing. I figured this would be a nice little “side-hustle”, perhaps even a passive income stream. Looking back at my slightly younger self, I almost giggle at how hopeful yet naive that was.
Over the past five and a half years, I have learned what it truly means to be an entrepreneur in the early stages of business. I quickly realize that initially, I needed to learn how market beyond just a website and some social media posts; I learned that marketing is actually 80% of having an online business. I learned the importance networking – especially as an entrepreneur. And I learned that what is going on internally with me, as the entrepreneur, is even more important that the things I do for my business.
For the first five years, I was pushing and pushing, working five days and 55 hours per week. I took a half dozen courses for how to build an online business (and purchased at least a dozen more that I started and didn’t get to). I took part in an incubator, two mentorships, and a full year long mentorship that included in-person training and online. Through all of that, I created $55k in high interest debt and found that no matter how closely I did exactly what these other people said to do, it didn’t work for me.
To be honest, I was pissed. I mean, I learned A TON about marketing, messaging, healing money blocks, and other online business strategy. And I met some really amazing people. But three audiences, five years, and around $75k later, my business wasn’t much better off than it had been when I started.
Then, this past Spring, I hit a wall. I saw that nothing was working. And I realized why. I was no longer connected to who I really am because I was burned out. I had pushed so much and listened so closely to everyone else, that I couldn’t even find my own voice let alone hear her.
It took me another couple of months to come to terms with that, but I got some clear messages that it wasn’t working – in addition to not having new clients, I was struggling to focus, starting to experience physical discomfort (something I had not really experienced unless I was injured from exercise or ill), and realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed – TRULY laughed and had fun.
So, over the past five months, I have been building my foundation. Not what people think of as the foundation of a business, but the TRUE foundation – me. I stopped “trying” to “get” clients. I stopped launching. And I started doing the bare minimum for my business while I rebuilt my connection to mySelf. I mean, I’ve still been working in my successful private psychotherapy practice (which I’ve owned and operated since 2014). But no more working on Saturdays. No more pushing. And a lot more being, meditation, and healing.
I am still in this phase now for my online business. But things feel different now. I had a client randomly reach out to me for 1:1 coaching after finding me on ChatGPT (of all place!) and enjoying my YouTube channel and podcast. I’ve focused on serving both my existing clients and in the content I create. And first and foremost, myself. Because not only can’t we serve from an empty cup, we can’t really serve from the cup we need to live.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Definitely not. I shared some of those struggles in the last answer about following what everyone said to do, spending a lot of money on it, and none of it really working.
Additionally, my first two audiences were just not a fit. Initially, I started working with women in general who were feeling exhausted and wanting more to life. I learned that wasn’t specific enough. Then I shifted to burned out nurses during COVID. I even presented at a large conference for the AACN (American Association of Critical Care Nurses) and received a lot of positive feedback including how much what I was doing was needed. But I still had zero clients. I learned that while the mostly younger nurses saw this as a good idea, no one was willing to pay to work on this. And their employers only wanted to work with big and established organizations for this work despite the nurses I spoke with saying that those course weren’t a fit the way my work was. Defeated, I switched audiences to people whose language I spoke – ADHD women entrepreneurs.
I struggled to build my instagram and facebook accounts and my launches were small despite the ad spend. I did have come into my program, but getting them to participate felt like pulling teeth. From this I learned to shift how I was meeting my audience in a more ADHD friendly way, something I am continuing to refine.
My biggest lesson was from joining a $14k mentorship program in 2024. They talked about how we would make our money back in 90 days if we did what they said. So I did. And not only did I not make any money in those 90 days, over the course of that year, following their instructions I created $55k in credit card debt. While I know I am 100% responsible for my choices, I also felt pressure to do what they said to see the result. I continue to work on paying down this debt, seeing each of my monthly payments as a valuable reminder that the most important voice in all of the noise is my own and that losing myself will not only “not work” for my business, it will make my life suck.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker specializing in women with Complex Trauma and/or ADHD. I earned my Masters in Social work in 2005 after switching careers in 2000 from being on the path to being an Actuary (in 1996 I earned a Bachelors in Mathematics and Statistics with a Concentration in Actuarial Science and a minor in Computer Science). I loved my work as an actuarial analyst, but the exams were stealing away my life. After a bout of anxiety and depression myself, I realized that I wanted to do what my first therapist did.
When I tell people about this shift few understand it – expect me and my first actuarial supervisor. Social Work is really just actuarial science with heart. Both are about pattern recognition and using analysis skills to reach a certain outcome. Plus, my background in actuarial science and working in an insurance company as well as briefly as a software analyst (between careers) has proven invaluable in building my businesses.
What sets me apart from others is both my deep level of compassion and empathy as well as my expansive training in therapies to help trauma and ADHD – all of which involve healing the body and the mind as well as the Spirit (none of which is actually separate). More specifically, I have been teaching yoga since 2009 and am now an E-RYT 500 (experienced yoga teacher at the 500 hour level). In 2016 I was the first class to be certified in Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY) – the trauma sensitive yoga developed by David Emerson that Bessel van der Kolk studied in 2003 (before TCTSY had its name) and mentions in his book “The Body Keeps the Score”. I trained in EMDR in 2014 becoming EMDR certified in 2017 (a certification I let lapse due to no longer wanting to pay the fee since I was focusing more on IFS). I completed my Level 1 training IFS in 2019 and my Level 2 IFS focused on IFS Trauma (and the Neuroscience of IFS) with Dr. Frank Anderson in 2024. I incorporate all three of these modalities in my work with psychotherapy clients in my private practice as well as nervous system regulation tools and DBT skills. My focus is bringing the body into treatment because THAT is where unhealed wounds lie (working with thoughts, words, and the stories about the past are insufficient only help temporarily).
In my coaching business (the one through which I consider myself an entrepreneur and coach), I use both TCTSY, IFS, and nervous system regulation to help my clients, something that is very unique to ADHD coaches because I incorporate not only skills and strategies for navigating the neurotypical world with ADHD but we also work with the inner, often invisible obstacles of ADHD using TCTSY and IFS. I became a Certified Professional Coach in 2024 and am working towards ICF certification, having completed the mentorship portion in 2025.
I am proud of my journal-book experience “The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD”. This is a tangible journal-book that comes in a box with hand-selected sensory items to help women with ADHD work through the journal book using the Self-Loved ADHD Woman Ritual I created. It offers nervous system regulation strategies as well as IFS-inspired journal prompts and more. Additionally, there is a QR code to a guided IFS meditation.
The other thing I hear from clients is that what makes me unique is my heart and compassion. They see how much I truly want to help them heal and how I am a partner in the journey who sees and accepts them as they are now while also holding the hope for and trust in who they are becoming through our work together.
Any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general?
My biggest piece of advice is to just ask. I have made the best connections by being brave, seeing people as other humans who also want to connect, and reaching out to ask to connect. I have asked three different authors to be on my podcast and they all showed up. I have asked two different researchers to research a hypothesis I have around ADHD; both responded and one is a new research partner as we collaborate on a project as I write this. I also recommend being brave and reaching out to connect with other entrepreneurs; doing that has helped me navigate this unique journey of entrepreneurship with support and greater effectiveness. Without that it can be a lonely road because few in our life really get it – while we are building and when they witness struggles their anxiety takes over and instead of being supportive, their well-meaning comments can inhibit our work – the work we came here to do.
Pricing:
- 1:1 ADHD Success Coaching $200/hour
- The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD $69
- The ADHD 5-Step Task Master Plan – FREE
- ASCEND: The ADHD Women’s Mastery Program 3.0 (expected Spring 2026)
- The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way Podcast (FREE)
Contact Info:
- Website: https://jenbarnes.org/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jenbarnes
- Other: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/
