Today we’d like to introduce you to Amy Blickensderfer.
Hi Amy, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
Before I got into Professional Cuddling (or as I call it, Therapeutic Nurturing Touch) I was a caregiver/PCA for a decade, from ages 17-27… Caring for elderly and vulnerable populations started to take me into the heart of my purpose in life, to hold compassionate, nonjudgmental space for humans. I remember one experience when I was about 20 years old, hugging a woman for a long time who was having some intense and terrifying hallucinations. I was worried I might get in trouble if a nurse saw me.
My life has been a journey in separating platonic touch from romantic touch. Many times I’ve been starving for touch, but only could find it in the context of romance. I had a best friend who I cuddled with in college, and I was initially scared he would want something more. Over time I realized from our friendship that love can be expressed just in the simplicity of being held.
When I moved to Minneapolis in 2016, I started studying Brazilian Zouk which is a close-embrace partner dance. . I entered a culture that separated affectionate platonic touch from romantic relationships. Suddenly I was getting all the hugs and cuddling I wanted… without needing to escalate into romance, dating, or sex. We had a visiting instructor from Brazil who taught a class called “The Universe Behind the Hug,” and I remember him lecturing us “You Americans are messed up about touch!” In this country, and perhaps especially in the midwest, we get affectionate and caring touch from our parents (if we’re lucky) until maybe the age of 7. And then we don’t get it until and unless we someday find a partner or spouse.
A woman from my dance community told me about professional cuddling, and helped me get started. I initially filed the idea away as a curiosity, but then during covid when so many people were isolated and touch-deprived, I had a light-bulb moment, “oh right, touch IS important.. people need each other,” and I decided to dive in. This was in late 2020.
Humans, no matter how old they are, have a need to be held and cared for, especially if they didn’t get held enough as infants and children. We know that infants will even die if they don’t receive touch. Aside from helping with everyday isolation and stress, Therapeutic Nurturing Touch sessions can begin to heal wounds of neglect and mis-attunement. I sometimes work in tandem with clients’ therapists, even attending sessions where they are doing deep childhood trauma healing work.
Of course, this kind of work requires me to be a boundaries master, as well as keep my intentions of compassionate, nonjudgmental, and platonic care at the center of the session. It’s an honor to watch how the lives of my clients shift and change when they are held with care and listened to.. sometimes for the first time in many decades. My focus is on being a calm and regulated nervous system that my clients can attune to. Rather than trying to fix them, or offer advice, I’m here with them, holding them through challenging emotions, and challenging parts of being human.
I hope to shift my business model to donation based/sliding scale in the next 5 years. I’d love for more people to understand the benefits of cuddling, and the health risks of isolation. We need each other!
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
The beginning of this career was the hardest.. my business was a boundaries dojo, where I learned how to assert myself in the moment and end sessions for bad actors who wanted non-platonic services. Luckily I met with a woman who had been doing this work and she taught me how to vet clients. Since then I’ve been able to work with clients who are serious about their healing and clear and upfront on why they are seeking me out. I can tell within five minutes of an initial phone call whether or not we are a good fit to work together.
There have been various ethical challenges, and as I don’t have an oversight board or any state regulations to follow, I’ve had to navigate these mostly alone (with help from my therapist!) Some other challenges have included: clients that become immediately emotionally attached and want to text every day and book multiple sessions a week… unwanted gifts from clients, and a client who found out where my boyfriend worked and booked an appointment with him to see if he was good enough for me.
I sometimes get to the end of my work day and my whole body hurts from laying down so much. I have to find a lot of movement during my off time, and nourishment to recharge after holding space for other people’s emotions and struggles that they share in session.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am a professional cuddler in Minneapolis. I specialize in crafting a non-judgmental and compassionate embrace space. My extensive work in caregiving, my studies in Non-violent Communication, and my trainings in consent, quality of touch, and trauma awareness inform each session. I don’t try to fix or change any of my clients. I just offer a hand and a hug in the darkness. I believe humans are already whole, and when given compassionate care and attention they can begin to make radical changes in their lives.
Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
My community makes me happy. My community holds me the way I hold clients. I’ve laughed, sobbed, and raged in community. I’ve been able to be held and nourished through all of it. We sing together, dance together, cuddle together, and paint together. We have conflict and deepen our friendships through it. Community is the single most important focus of my life. I read a study once that found that quality of relationships are the one factor that correlates with lifelong happiness. I am a node in an enormous web of support and love.
Pricing:
- 1 hour session / $100
Contact Info:
- Website: https://radiatawellness.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radiatawellness/
