Today we’d like to introduce you to Tess Vergara.
Hi Tess, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
My story of awakening started in 2009. I was at the top of my career as a finance director of a local nonprofit in Minneapolis. Then all in one year, I kept getting whacked in the head by what I call cosmic 2×4. Several devastating incidents occured all in 1 year!
It started with the police calling me early on Easter Sunday. I was informed that my rental/vacation property in Duluth was burned to the ground. The ensuing insurance investigation, more like interrogation, was so upsetting. I was made to feel I was the primary suspect. Unbeknownst to me, at that time of market crash and high unemployment, that there were a lot of owner-started arsons. Well, it wasn’t me. When it was confirmed that it was my tenant whom I evicted for non-payment, I was so disheartened. He hadn’t paid for several months and we were having such extreme cold temperatures that I waited until it was warm enough to evict them. When I found out it was them, I was terrified that they’d also go after my house in the city, so I did not get involved and let the investigators and the police take care of things.
Few months later, on June 30th, my boss, the executive director, who was also my friend and confidante, passed away. I took it really hard. He was the one person in the world at that time that knew my heart. He was that kind of person. Caring, charming and charismatic. And a visionary. I realized later that I was kept in the dark about his health conditions. The whole time while he was sick and away from the office, I kept a strong front for the staff. So when he died, I was devastated and I realize now that I did not give myself a chance to properly grieve such a massive loss. I went on automatic pilot just going through the motions day in and day out.
The 3rd incident felt like a stab in the back. After the new executive director took office, I was surprised to see the auditor in the hallway. I was like “hey, what are you doing here? Did I miss a memo?” Normally, I would know when the auditor would pay us a visit because I would be the one coordinating it. But instead, the the board of directors and the new executive director all went behind my back. They invited the auditor to inquire about my work and qualifications as a finance director. At this time, I had been working for this organization for 6 years! I was shocked and felt betrayed. Yes I do not have a CPA here in the US. Yes, my certification comes from Canada. But why go behind my back? Keep in mind I was also stressed out from all the transition and training of a new executive director. And not properly grieving and processing a major loss that took place in my life. I was like a zombie running around like a chicken without a head, and would come home to my kids already sleeping, and for what? for an organization that didn’t have the balls to come to me directly and ask me about my credentials? After years and years of hard work and personal sacrifices? I was hurt and devastated. Of course I know now that they didn’t mean for me to feel that way. But that’s what stress and unprocessed grief can do to someone. It clouds your judgment and activates all pent up emotions that need release. I needed that blow to the ego to wake up from zombie-like, self sacrificing existence.
The 4th incident was a ski accident on Xmas eve. I was so distraught and angry and burnt out from it all that I tore my ACL skiing with my children. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I heard a crack somewhere from my own body. I negotiated to God, please, not yet, I need to be there for my children. They are not 18 yet. I was rescued by the ski patrol and the incident forced me to slow down and reconnect with life itself. I didn’t realize that I was running on fumes and had given myself away until I had nothing left to give.
That was my rude awakening.
I made a decision to take my power back and no longer be trapped in unconscious people pleasing, self sacrificing and self abandonment patterns.
I thought I was this confident woman who could do it all. I had no idea I was trapped in self defeating behavior. All unconscious patterns.
It took me a while to nourish myself back to health and peace of mind. And I am thankful for my cosmic 2x4s albeit excruciating.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
The path to self love is not at all a smooth road.
First, self love was programmed into us as selfish. So to go against that indoctrination was exhausting in the beginning. But the more I allowed self love in, the more it filled me up, the more it felt right, and good, really good.
Second, with every transformation comes hardened patterns of complacency, comfort and familiarity. We are wired to stay in our safety and comfort zone! So once the pain (of betrayal and abandonment) subsides, it’s so easy to forget the lessons. And go back to old ways of people pleasing and old ways of being. Then comes another whack in the head, another cosmic 2×4, another heartbreak, just to once again re-member that “this is not what I signed up for ”.
Third, even with dedication and strong commitment to self, creating new patterns, creating new habits without the right people in your life can be challenging. Your own family and friends can and will scoff, belittle, or criticize the inner work and progress you are doing. You get re-triggered over and over again, and for me, the trigger was abandonment and betrayal. Over and over and over again. I had to consistently and fiercely choose myself, my commitment to my inner being, my SOUL, over and over and over again. And the challenges come in all shapes and sizes. And the minute I forget, boom! another whack in the head.
As you know, we’re big fans of Soul Powered Leaders . For our readers who might not be as familiar, what can you tell them about the brand?
Just like I experienced it in my own personal transformation, the world is now experiencing a collective transformation. A shift from FEAR POWER (fueled by lack, victim, separation consciousness) to SOUL POWER (the light of our soul functioning from wholeness, oneness, abundance, freedom, light, truth, love, divinity).
We were never taught to function from wholeness. And I believe, we are each called to pioneering this shift from brokenness to wholeness, from survival to freedom, from limitation to possibilities…
From fear power to Soul Power.
This is the uprising of Soul Powered Leadership!
Any separation from wholeness is coming up in consciousness for healing and integration.
And those that are called to step up, to break free from the habituated, programmed giving up of one’s power, (self abandonment) work with me to no longer be a victim of their own self doubt and lack of confidence and walk instead with inner certainty and self leadership to help heal themselves, and by doing so, the world.
I specialize in integration of the 4 pillars (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) so that people who are meant to pioneer the wholeness of unconditional love are no longer held back by human condition, and instead bring fulfillment to their Soul’s purest expression, potential and possibilities.
What sets me apart is going beyond the intellectual understanding of enlightenment, to actually integrating all our hidden and disowned light and darkness, so we can step into our Soul’s path of Self Actualization. To be the light of the world, to be the salt of the earth.
I am most proud of supporting executives, leaders, changemakers, light workers, whether they are aware that they are or not, to take back their mind, take back their voice, take back their Soul, take back their power, so that their health whether financial, relational, mental, emotional, physical or spiritual are in highest integrity and alignment with their Soul’s truest and most authentic expression.
This is Soul remembrance. This is Soul liberation. This is Soul embodiment. This is Soul Power.
I want the readers to know that their experience of reality is not their fate, not their destiny. They are not their past, they are not broken, they are not unworthy and undeserving, they are not their behaviors nor their circumstances. Who they are is so much more! And it takes self awareness, self love, sometimes cosmic 2x4s, to return to our highest and pristine nature as Souls. As light. As love. As life itself.
What’s next?
For a long time I only wanted to return home to God. And what I learned is, I didn’t have to die to do so. We can return heaven on earth by returning to our Soul Power right here right now in flesh, in our physical body.
I look forward to supporting more Minnesotans who stand for truth, love and freedom, find their voices and fully allow their Soul to shine. That is how I know more joy and wholeness and freedom is created. When we become that which we truly desire and long for: SOUL POWER.
Contact Info:
- Email: tess@tessvergara.com
- Website: www.tessvergara.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulpoweredexecutivecoach/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TessVergaraSoulPoweredExecutiveCoach
- Youtube: https://youtu.be/SIN_6YQiNeQ
- Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2VE9mqWZp28sHy6XnOvgzt
Image Credits
Bobby Ramilo Amagan
Modie Chehouri (Modieamore.com)
