Today we’d like to introduce you to Dani Thao.
Hi Dani, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
It’s funny to think about introducing myself because in a way, I’m still finding myself. When I turned 30 years old, I finally began to understand what it meant to love myself, and not in the superficial ways, but embracing and accepting who I am. As I began to learn what I like, what I dislike, what drains me, what energizes me, I am able to redirect my efforts on who and what I spend my energy on. I didn’t get to this point on my own. In 2020, when I first sought help from a therapist, I was terrified because I had never confronted the darker parts of myself. In the beginning, there was much resistance because my pride and ego were hurt whenever I felt blamed or ashamed. That initial step encouraged me to seek other avenues in addition to therapy including meditation and life coaching. With the help of all these people, I started realizing that life is one big cluster of chaos, and rather than try to control the chaos, I embraced it.
All the broken parts of me made me who I am, and learning to embrace that made me realize that many of us are broken in one way or another. As I looked into creating a space/place for others to be and feel heard, to express themselves authentically, I knew I had to pursue something outside of my comfort zone in order to make a meaningful impact on normalizing conversations surrounding mental health. As a young girl, I looked up to these pageant queens. The effort they put into not only looking beautiful, but embodying grace, elegance, and using their platform to create positive change was what I looked up to.
The opportunity to be Miss Minnesota Global presented itself as I was in a huge transition period in my life. I was freshly out of a relationship and had moved out of my home state, California, to be closer to my family who had moved to Minnesota the year before. _ In retrospect, doing so was a great decision because my quality of life has significantly improved.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
It absolutely was not an easy path. But nothing in life ever is easy, and that’s paradoxically reassuring, since we all struggle in our own way, so we can take solace that we’re not alone in our struggles. For me, learning that I have clinical depression was difficult, but also one of the best things that could have happened to me. Depression slowly takes over your mind, body, and spirit. Sometimes it’s not noticeable, and it doesn’t even have a name, but it starts as a small feeling. There’s a wide range of depression, which is why it’s sometimes so hard to talk about with other people, even if they might also be suffering from depression. Your experience may never be the same as someone else’s, or you just don’t know how to convey it in words so that someone else can understand. And what can amplify the sense of being lost are, paradoxically, the good days.
Some days, I suddenly like “myself” again, and I even begin to doubt that feeling of depression. This was one of the reasons I never really tried to figure out why I felt low, or why those feelings arose in the first place. Before my diagnosis, I brushed it off and said I was having an off day, or week, or month, or year. And the cycle repeated just enough so that you didn’t seek help, until I finally was tired of feeling the way I was.
I broke the cycle and sought therapy. Some days I feel good, and I feel like myself. Some days I feel down, and I struggle with accepting that this is also a part of me. This may not be the same experience of someone else who is dealing with depression, but it has been my experience. With my therapist, I’ve been working on reconciling the fact that having polarizing thoughts doesn’t make me a flawed person, it’s an essential part of my life. How we react to and process our feelings/ emotions is paramount to our wellbeing. I now look forward to tomorrow, and I do look back to yesterday with admiration and gratitude.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I won’t sugarcoat this, it took a long time to get here, but I found peace within myself eventually. The wrong turns, the U-turns, the loop-de-loops, all to arrive at this point in my life. It took me a long time to realize I am who I need. Every single person I have met has led me to myself. All of my life experiences, both positive and negative, have led me to who I am. I am grateful, and appreciative, and have an infinite love for those in my life and those who were in my life.
As children, we’re trained to avoid failure and not learn from it. It’s presented as a sign of inadequacy, and sometimes, even worthlessness. In society, failure is never presented as an educational experience, as a result, I saw my mounting inadequacies in education, physical appearance, financial status, relationships, and career as proof that my life was falling apart.I believed that if I were truly qualified to be where I was, I wouldn’t be struggling at all. I want to use my platform as Miss Minnesota Global to encourage others to truly embrace who they are.
Do you have any memories from childhood that you can share with us?
As a child, I loved doing anything creative. I distinctly remember spending hours on my Easy-Bake-Oven. I loved taking out my little oven and just playing with the different ingredients and trying new recipes.
Another interest of mine when I was younger was creating plays and putting on productions with my cousins. We’d often role-play, and I loved playing as the teacher. I’d even create lesson plans and would “teach” my younger cousins.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @daniadele_official
- Facebook: Miss Minnesota Global USA
