Today we’d like to introduce you to Jen Rives, MA, LMFT.
Hi Jen, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I was born in Hong Kong and from there my family moved around a lot. From age 12 on, the one constant in my life was acting—leading up to going to college on an acting scholarship, and then 3 years of acting training in grad school. I acted in many different styles of theatre—new plays from up-and-coming playwrights, classical plays, Shakespeare plays, all in many different locales—Tennessee, Iowa, California, Budapest, Scotland. The grand finale of which was New York City, where I went to really “become an actor.”
In NYC, aside from a series of off-off-broadway plays, I was spending a great deal of time as a server, a cater-waiter, a barista, and a bookstore clerk. I cleaned houses and office building kitchenettes. I took temp office jobs so I could make it to auditions, and I could barely afford rent. After four years, my only claim to fame was a less than 5 line scene in a Law & Order episode—to this day I still get $5.43 residual checks from NBC, which always makes me laugh.
So, I packed up, moved to Minneapolis, and began piecing together a similar type of work life, but in a much more affordable city.
I was biking on the Greenway when I saw a friend—she mentioned working as a therapist with a terminally ill child and their family. To me, it sounded extraordinarily difficult, but also extraordinarily beautiful and meaningful. In that moment, I knew I wanted to do something with a deeper sense of purpose, something that helped people in a more meaningful way.
Shortly after that, I was in a graduate therapy program deeply rooted in family systems—basically exploring how a person’s childhood, family of origin patterns, culture, and socio-economic background shape their internal experience and the relationships in their life.
I learned about a tool called the genogram—a relationship map of a person’s family of origin going back to their grandparents. It shows relational patterns of closeness, distance, cutoffs, conflict, enmeshment, substance use, mental health, and trauma—all of which shape how individuals handle relationships and life as adults. When something comes up with a partner, friend, or at work, it can often be traced back in the genogram—it’s kind of thrilling to make those connections and see the whole pattern laid out before your eyes!
The idea that these insights into past relationship patterns can form the foundation for dramatic change is what inspired the name of my group therapy practice: Relationship Insights. That awareness around relationship patterns has been a powerful catalyst for transformation—both in my clients’ lives and in my own.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Everyone who has broken a New Year’s resolution is aware that change is hard. Familiar pain often feels safer than the discomfort of growth. I’m lucky to walk alongside my clients as they shift, grow, and earn hard-won victories in how they show up in their relationships and lives. It is, and continues to be, deeply rewarding.
COVID was not a smooth road for any of us. Despite the innumerable challenges the pandemic brought, it was powerful to help clients find self-care amid the chaos. For many, it was an arduous transition—stretching their reserves and taxing their nervous systems. As therapists, we felt it too: isolation, anxiety, frustration, financial strain, health fears. For many of us, there was a deeply human moment of saying, “I’m there too. It’s hard, isn’t it?”—and then turning our focus fully back to the client.
Of course, those external stressors—political shifts, inflation, injustice, climate stress—didn’t disappear, and they just piled on top of the manifold difficulties of everyone’s everyday lives. If anything, the uncertainties have only intensified given recent political changes. Through all of this, it remains profoundly meaningful to support clients in building resilience, caring for themselves, and voicing fear, anger, shame, and anxiety in a safe space. I feel incredibly lucky to do this work.
Life can be joyful and amazing, and yet still gets “life-ey”—filled with uncertainty, stress, fear, despair, change, pain, and loss. As tender humans, we go through it all. Clearing away the scar tissue, while holding safe boundaries, helps us respond with presence and less reactivity. It allows us to lift our heads toward the light more often, rather than sink into the dark. I’m grateful to sit with clients in that process.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
Despite the name of my practice—Relationship Insights—in addition to couples therapy we work with adults in individual therapy. No matter if it’s individual or couple’s work, we explore relationship patterns from the past and address what’s surfacing in current dynamics. It’s hard, brave work. Sometimes the work is brave because it involves recognizing some type of abuse. And sometimes it is brave because real change often begins when we set aside what our partner may have done—however painful—and begin the uncomfortable process of looking at our own contributions to the dynamic. Only then does our partner feel safe enough to do the same and begin acknowledging the things we’ve long hoped they would.
Chances are, we’ve already tried telling them what they’re doing wrong. If things haven’t shifted, it’s likely because they either don’t see it or don’t agree. But when they witness us owning something we hadn’t seen before, it opens the door for them to do the same. Otherwise, the cycle of blame and defensiveness continues.
The truth is, the insights we gain about our own thoughts and behaviors are often the most transformative. What others do wrong is usually glaringly obvious to us—but we lack the tools or distance to see our own missteps and our own protective stances. And of course, the same goes for our partners. What’s painfully clear to us may be nearly invisible to them.
Then, with the compassionate help of the therapist, we can explore the protective stances that have been shaped by our past, which are no longer helpful in our current relationships. We offer a safe space for clients to do that good, hard work. Whether it is in individual therapy or couples therapy, relationships and connection are at the heart of what we do. In therapy, clients can learn to infuse their lives with joy, happiness, gratitude, and resilience.
Beyond this, we have expertise in numerous specialties:
– improving communication
– navigating transitions
– reducing anxiety and stress
– finding work-life balance
– affairs and infidelity (in both individual therapy and with couples)
– relationship doubts
– attachment styles
– men’s issues
– family therapy with adult siblings and parent-adult child relationships
All of us who work at Relationship Insights are well-practiced in supporting all of the above.
In my practice, I particularly enjoy helping individuals and couples doing recovery work (12-step, AA, Al-Alanon friendly) as well as women in enmeshed relationships.
Kristi Granacher has a point of emphasis in her practice on supporting couples in the process of exploring decisions around remaining together or separating, sometimes known as discernment or discernment counseling. She also guides couples through the process of intentional separation or divorce.
Angelica Belko is skilled at helping navigate the challenges faced by newly cohabitating or newly married couples as well as younger millennials trying to find a balance between relationships, work, and self.
We approach our work through a socially and racially systemic lens and are LGBTQ+ allies, dedicated to providing inclusive, affirming care that respects and uplifts each client’s unique lived experience.
We offer both telehealth and in-person sessions. We have an office in the Kingfield neighborhood, located at 45th and Nicollet in a warm, welcoming space called the Healing House. Owned by Kelsey Kreider Starrs, it’s a collective of therapists who share the space—a truly lovely place for healing work.
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
I’ve been fortunate to have many supporters over the years. Sara Wright, former clinical director at St. Mary’s University, introduced me to marriage and family therapy during my graduate school interview. She became a favorite professor, supervised me through licensure, and even visited my first office after graduation—a proud moment. My colleagues Rebekah Miller and Kirsten Seal Lind, have offered invaluable support, thoughtful guidance, and wise counsel over the years. Kristi Granacher and Angelica Belko, the two therapists that I am lucky enough to work with at Relationship Insights, are an absolute joy. For the past two years, I’ve been part of the Healing House Collaborative—a warm, nurturing community of wonderful therapists that’s been deeply encouraging both personally and professionally.
We offer fee-for-service therapy services, which means we don’t accept in-network insurance. What happens in our work together is shared between us, instead of with an insurance company.
We offer fee-for-service therapy services, which means we don’t accept in-network insurance. What happens in our work together is shared between us, instead of with an insurance company. With fee-for-service therapy, clients do not have to meet the specific diagnostic criteria required by insurance and it also prevents insurance companies from accessing treatment plans, case notes, and other private mental health information that could end up in a client’s permanent record.
Unfortunately, many people in therapy have found out the hard way that sharing that private health information, or even a specific mental health diagnosis as commonplace as depression or anxiety, can lead to denial of life insurance or denial of long term disability insurance down the road.
The cost of therapy ranges from $130 to $205 per session, and we offer free 15-minute consultations to make sure it’s a good fit.
Pricing:
- $130-$205
Contact Info:
- Website: https://insightsminneapolis.com
- Email: [email protected]
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/insightsminneapolis
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insightsminneapolis
- Other: https://www.thehealinghousempls.com/practitioners
