Today we’d like to introduce you to Felix Murphy.
Hi Felix, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
My name is Felix Murphy and my pronouns are he/they. I grew up in Onalaska, WI and now currently live in La Crosse, WI. For most of my life, I struggled with not feeling like I belonged. I had a hard time making connections that were meaningful and authentic and I’m not close with my family. I went most of my life undiagnosed with ADHD and Autism, which made school unnecessarily difficult. I had a hard time focusing on my studies and would often get overstimulated easily which led to panic attacks, anxiety and irritability. I was 23 when I realized that I was on the spectrum, which explained why navigating the world felt much harder for me than most of my peers. I got distracted easily, forgot important dates and bills, had a million and one hobbies that I never stuck to, had a very unhealthy caffeine addiction and got easily burnt out at work. I had chronic migraines and called out of work at least once a month. I also struggled with severe anxiety and depression. I thought there was something wrong with me, so I saw my doctor who prescribed me an antidepressant that also helps with migraines. For a while, it was working, but after being on this medication for over a year, the migraines started getting worse and I hated how the medication made me feel. I got horrible withdrawals when I forgot to take it, (which happened often), and it triggered intense migraines. Once I opened my own hair business and quit my hourly paying salon job, I was able to control how much I was working and what kinds of services I offered, which made it easier to not feel burnt out. I worked at two salons before opening my own private hair studio, Misfits Hair Studio LLC, where I work alone. Working alone has made me realize how overstimulated and isolated I felt working in other salons. I use to see 8+ clients some days, was around several coworkers, all of their clients, other support team members and a boss who I wanted so badly to make proud. I overworked myself to feel accomplished, even though I was constantly exhausted. I now know that there wasn’t anything wrong with my brain, I was simply overworked and overstimulated. The first year working completely alone in my private studio gave me so many light bulb moments. I realized that my migraines were triggered by all the stimuli I absorbed daily. The multiple conversations, smells from several hair and nail products, 5+ blow dryers going at once, constantly missing my lunches because of big projects and being overbooked, performing services that I didn’t enjoy, and feeling the need to dress a certain way all contributed to my internal suffering. A couple months into working alone in my studio, I realized I had gone months without a migraine. I eventually got off the antidepressant that I hated being on and never felt the need to get back on it. Working alone allowed me to get to know myself better. I was able to pour back into me and give myself the love and attention I used to bend over backwards to give to everyone else. I’ve struggled with being a people pleaser and used to never stand up for myself. I struggled a lot with my self worth and self esteem. Misfits Hair Studio was my safe space. I was able to dress and decorate however I wanted and truly embrace my authentic self. I’ve always been a Misfits, an outcast, a punk, a weirdo. I always stuck out like a sore thumb because of the way I express myself and the music I listen to. I was able to celebrate these parts of me in my studio. I decorated the walls in Halloween decor, horror icons, pride flags, local art, plants, crystals, a Black Lives Matter and Free Palestine flag. I played music that brought me joy and felt less pressure to dress like “a beauty professional.” Working alone gave me the freedom to dress comfortably, in my band t’s, baggy shorts and some kind of black boots, usually docs. I didn’t feel like I had to put on a full face of makeup anymore or dress as girly as I used to. I also realized I was overstimulated by how much I had on every day. Being my authentic self eventually attracted my ideal clientle. I am lucky to have a clientle full of LGBTQIA+ individuals, neurodivergent people, the goths, the punks, the metal heads, the artists and the activists. My people were able to find me because I was finally being authentic and was able to market myself properly. Working alone and stepping into my authenticity allowed me to discover how queer I actually am. I was already questioning my gender before opening Misfits, and went by she/they pronouns for a while and eventually they/them. I didn’t feel like I was in a queer safe space at my last salon, which is part of why I wanted to open my own space. I wanted to create a space where people in the LGBTQIA+ community and neurodivergent community felt comfortable, safe, valued, understood, heard and celebrated. I wanted to work alone to minimize stimuli and allow my clients and I to feel more free to talk without feeling like someone else was listening or judging. I provide a bowl of stim toys and I’m very conscious about little things like water getting into people’s ears, which I absolutely hate for myself, the cape being too tight, the music being too loud, offering a blanket if anyone is too cold or a fan if anyone is too hot and simply asking if they have any sensory sensitivities. After a few months of Misfits being opened, I felt called to get more involved in the LGBTQIA+ community. I had a client, Elizabeth Joy (she/her) who was the board president at the time of our local LGBTQIA+ non-profit and has two queer children of her own. The Center: 7 Rivers LGBTQ Connection, is our resource center for the community. Elizabeth told me that they were looking for more board members and we talked more about the possibility of me joining. We set up an interview with the board to ask me questions and get to know me. I was accepted to the board that night and was officially apart of the board January, 2024. That same month, I set up an appointment at Planned Parenthood to start taking testosterone. At the time, I still identified as non-binary (they/them) and didn’t know I was transmasc yet. I simply was a curious non-binary individual who was still confused about their identity and wanted some answers. I felt called to start taking testosterone and after 3 months, realized that I was indeed trans, and changed my name to Felix and my pronouns to he/they. Being involved in my community first hand with The Center and my studio steam rolled my growth and realization of my own identity. I was surrounded by other queer and trans people and finally felt like I belonged. I was accepted, celebrated and loved throughout my transition and self-discovery. I helped organize events at The Center, tabled for The Center at other events, and even organized my own support group, Queer Corner, where anyone 18+ in the LGBTQIA+ community can get together in a sober environment and find friends and community. Our current board president, Alec Lass (he/they), is my co-leader. We mostly socialize and play games. I’ve invited several clients I’ve met through my studio to Queer Corner and have made it a priority for me to introduce people to eachother that I felt would get along. I know how it feels to not have community and feel isolated and didn’t want any of my clients to feel that way. It’s been incredibly wholesome to witness the friendships that have bloomed from me introducing people. Nothing brings me more joy than queer and trans joy. Especially with what we have to deal with in this country, it’s so important to have a strong community and I believe we are unstoppable when we band together.
In July of 2024, I was asked by my current drag father, Tenacious Eddie, to perform with him in an event “Dragging with the La Crosse Stars,” where local drag performers put well known members of the La Crosse community in drag for a fundraiser for The Center. His partner couldn’t perform anymore and I had 9 days to prepare a drag number with absolutely no experience. This is where I discovered my love for performing. I had always been an incredibly insecure person who hated being perceived and this was the perfect opportunity to break out of my comfort zone and get even more involved in the community. I started off as a drag king because it made me feel euphoric. I was only 6 months on testosterone at the time and didn’t feel confident yet in how I looked. King drag made me feel more powerful and confident. I was able to help heal the parts of myself that never felt attractive, worthy or celebrated. Drag helped liberate me from the box I kept trying to put myself in. It helped me realize how much gender and expression have so many made up rules and you can dress however you want regardless of your gender. After 6 months of doing drag regularly, I felt more confident in myself as a performer and in my body one year on testosterone. I decided to experiment with queen drag since it didn’t make me feel dysphoric anymore. When I first came out, I accidentally put myself in a hyper-masculine box to avoid feeling dysphoric and being misgendered. Doing queen drag helped heal the parts of me that avoided being feminine. Before I came out as trans and was dressing feminine every day, I often joked that I felt like I was in drag and couldn’t wait to take it all off and get back into my “boy clothes.” Oh, the irony…
I’m realizing now, at one year and 9 months on testosterone, that I’m genderfluid. I enjoy dressing both masculine and feminine and it depends on the day. My pronouns are still he/they and I am currently saving up for top surgery. I’ve realized that I enjoy being feminine, but I wanted to have a more masculine body. If it wasn’t for going out on my own and opening my studio, I’m not sure if I would be where I’m at today. I am incredibly grateful for all the people I’ve met at my studio and the drag journey I’ve experienced so far, as well as my involvement with The Center. I’ve found community after discovering that I am autistic, queer and trans and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I was simply surrounded by all the wrong people and was pretending to be something I wasn’t to feel included. I felt alone in rooms full of people and could never understand why. Now I know who I am and I don’t shrink myself anymore. I’ve made friends with other people on the spectrum and apart of the LGBTQIA+ community and I’ve never felt more understood.
This past 6 months in 2025, I’ve took a deep dive into my inner child healing and spirituality. I’ve healed parts of me who never felt unconditional love. I dissected my wounds and put the puzzle pieces together of why I felt the way I did my whole life and why I shrunk myself and pretended to be something I wasn’t. I did it for safety. I know now that I never felt safe or heard being myself. I was diminished and othered. I put on a very thick mask because of my childhood wounds. My biggest desire has always been to persue music and travel the world, but because of imposter syndrome, having little self worth and a sense of self at all, I never went after my dreams. I am now 27, closing my very successful and fulfilling business at the end of November to move to the UK and pursue my dreams. I’ve wanted to leave the country for a while now, but lacked the courage. I felt a lot of guilt for leaving behind the community I worked so hard to provide for. I felt guilty for wanting to close Misfits, which has been a safe space for so many people. I discovered that a friend of mine, who is also neurodivergent and a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, was looking for a bigger space to expand their hair business. They showed interest in my studio and we talked about the possibility of them signing a sublease. We signed the papers at the end of October 2025 and it’s official. They are taking over my studio December 1st, 2025 so that I can leave and start my new life in the UK. I feel content leaving now that I know my clients will be well taken care of by the person taking over my studio and that it will remain a safe and inclusive space. I have so much love for my community and it is truly bittersweet to leave. I am excited for this next chapter and adventure and I’m incredibly grateful for all the love and support I’ve gotten since announcing this big move. I want to continue to advocate for my community and spread my story to help others discover their own power and self love. I used to have very little self worth and I know how isolating it is to not know who you are. We have been taught by society to abandon our hopes and dreams to follow the status quo and I want to help people realize that they don’t have to do that anymore. It’s our duty to ourselves to take our power back so that we can live authentic, happy lives. No one should be made to feel small for being themselves. We all having something beautiful to share with the world.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I have always been an artistic person. I found my love for doing hair because of the artistic components to it. I use to do mine and my friends hair in our bathrooms when we were younger. I loved playing with color and customizing unique haircuts for my clients. I’ve been lucky enough to have clients in my chair who love the wild, bold hair that I do. They’ve let me use their head as a canvas for the last few years and it’s been incredibly wholesome and rewarding. Since I use to do my own hair with drug store bleach and color, I’ve never been one to judge my clients for doing their own hair. Our hair is a wonderful way to express ourselves and, as I like to say, “customize our avatar.” I’ve loved providing a judgement free and uplifting experience. Even though I enjoyed the creative freedom of being a hairstylist, and providing a safe and inclusive space, I’ve known that it was never my forever job.
When I was in grade school, art and music classes were my favorite. I was happiest when I was creating something or playing an instrument. I was in marching band and concert band where I learned to play the alto and tenor saxophone.
I still own my saxophones and have been wanting to pick them back up. I am currently teaching myself how to play the guitar and I’ve been on and off writing songs throughout my life. I recently started focusing on writing music again and realized that it’s a future I want to invest in. This is a big reason I want to move to the UK. I’ve been in love with the underground british punk, rock and goth scenes forever and I just know that I will find like minded people there who have the same visions as me. All of my favorite musicians are from the UK and I just know that I will feel right at home. I want to make creating art and music a priority again.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/midwestprinceofdarkness?igsh=d2prenpjbzcwenl4
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@midwestprinceofdarkness?_r=1&_t=ZP-91QzPPGVOP9
