Today we’d like to introduce you to Jennifer Hirst.
Hi Jennifer, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
I justified my drinking for many years because I didn’t “look” like your typical alcoholic. I was what we call a “high functioning, closet alcoholic”. Many perfectionists out there might relate. I did my drinking at home, hiding bottles around the house so my husband wouldn’t find out. On the outside, I appeared like I had it all together, but I was physically and mentally collapsing.
I always thought from a very young age that there was something wrong with me, like I had to “become” someone other than who I was. And in the 15-year process, I lost myself. Who I was. What I enjoyed. I became who society told me I should be.
So I drank. I loved alcohol not because of the way it made me feel, but the way it made me NOT Feel. From intense anxiety, drinking mouthwash on the regular to hide the immense shame of walking into a liquor store, blacking out daily and on the verge of losing almost everything… I knew my time was limited unless I quit.
I checked into my third inpatient treatment after detox, knowing deep down that this was it. This time it was different. It just clicked. I didn’t want to drink anymore. I followed every recommendation I was given, took responsibility for the mess I had created and slowly rebuilt my life… one day at a time.
I lived in the sober closet during the first four years of sobriety. I didn’t share my past because I thought no one cared. No one wanted to hear it. It wasn’t until I signed up as a Beachbody Coach in 2017 that I was encouraged to share pieces of my life. Sobriety was such a huge part of my life, I knew I couldn’t be honest with anyone or have them trust me unless I revealed to everyone on social media this big secret I was nervous to disclose.
So one day, before I went to an AA meeting, I shared my “Coming Out” post as I like to call it. I wrote it in less than 5 min, beginning with the sentence “I’m Jen, and I’m an alcoholic”. I threw the phone in my purse and ran into the meeting. When I came back, the amount of love and support I received on that post filled me with so much joy. I didn’t have to hide anymore. I was set free and could truly be myself now. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.
Slowly I began to reveal more and more about my past and what habits I practice to manage my stress. Over the course of three years, I realized I wasn’t supposed to be showing others how to lose weight. I was supposed to help women get sober. The one thing I was so nervous to talk about is now the one thing I love to talk about. It’s a part of who I am and being addicted to an addictive drug is nothing to be ashamed about or kept hidden.
I now coach women struggling with alcohol on how to implement healthy habits to manage stress and overwhelm to forge a sustainable path to recovery.
Own your sobriety and wear it with confidence. The more people we encourage to do this, the more we break down the stigma of addiction and begin to normalize sobriety.
Sobriety is the greatest opportunity for self discovery. Alcohol robs us of who we are. It’s not about becoming something else, but uncovering who you really are and finding what you truly enjoy.✨
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
1. Thinking I could do this on my own: You can’t do this alone. I tried for many years. I didn’t understand. I could do anything else, but I couldn’t do this. And getting in a community helps us realize that we’re not alone and we don’t have to do it alone.
2. Thinking I could have “just one”. It took me a while to get this one. The only drink you need to avoid is the first one. You can’t have a sip or just one. You will end up exactly where you left off. Just like M&Ms. I can’t have just one. But if I can avoid the first one, I’m still in control. ✨
3. Beating yourself up for slipping. Relapse unfortunately is a part of recovery and it’s not a straight shot up. It has lots of ups and downs, twists and turns… but it’s all a part of the process you go through. No line is exactly the same. Just because you slip up doesn’t mean you’ve failed at this, it’s just another twist and learning experience on your path. Shaming yourself for something that you can’t change doesn’t do you any good.In order to move on. Leave yesterday in the past and focus on bettering your tomorrow self.
It took MANY attempts for me to finally “get it”:
• 3 Inpatient Treatments at Hazelden and The Retreat (30 days or more)
• 4 Outpatient Treatments
• Meetings once or twice a week
• Meetings with a sponsor
• One day in jail 4 months pregnant
• Community Service
• Lawyer/Court Fees
• 2 years probation
• 2 years with a breathalizer in my car
• Whiskey Plates for two years
• House arrest for two weeks
• Two detox stays (the second blowing a .34 and I made the decision to finally stop)
• Two DUI’s:
– One in 2005, blowing a .19
– The other in 2013, blowing a .23
I also lost my job, had my car impounded, got kicked out of my house to name a few. But it’s all what I had to go through to get to the point that I did where I knew I was done and ready to get sober.
4. Learning how to date my spouse: My husband and I drank together. It’s what we did, so when I got sober, we had to learn how to have fun without drinking. It wasn’t easy, but you learn along the way. We welcomed two kids, so now most of our fun is exploring with our kids.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am a full-time graphic designer for FitnessOnDemand by day, sober & fitness coach, speaker and founder of LivingZeroProof on the side. I wear many hats, which is why stress management is at the top of my list.
Sober since April 24, 2013, I coach women struggling with alcohol on how to implement healthy habits to manage stress and overwhelm to forge a sustainable path to recovery. I value the importance of taking care of all aspects of your health in sobriety: your physical health and your mental health.
I’ve found that exercise is the best medicine, and by moving your body… you can change your mind. From the immediate endorphin rush, to boosting our self-confidence, and making us feel good, exercise also helps our brains recover from decades of drinking. It rebuilds brain tissue + creates new neurons to transmit information, as well as eliminates cravings. It’s a valuable part of my toolkit and I encourage my clients to get involved as well.
I’m most proud of my recent work helping women struggling with alcohol find sobriety and make it sustainable.
I never knew that this would be my thing, but when you find what you truly love, it lights you up. It energizes you. And to see women succeed? To overcome huge obstacles and sit with their emotions? There’s nothing like it. To hear that you’ve changed and saved someone’s life is the most rewarding part of what I do. And I really believe that helping others helps ourselves.
Do you have any memories from childhood that you can share with us?
I always think back to vacations with my family. Those were the best memories. Disney World and all the magic of that experience, but also our yearly trips to Lake Darling in Alexandria. A getaway from the cities and a chance for us all to connect, play games, go fishing, play in the pool, visit new areas…
It’s something I want to experience with my kids as well. Focus on “experiences” rather than material things. Those are the things that stick and carry with us.
Contact Info:
- Email: jenleehirst@gmail.com
- Website: https://livingzeroproof.com/
- Instagram: jenleehirst
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jkampinen
Image Credits
Lizzie C Photography
